i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
