Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
