I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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