girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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