How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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