apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize