Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
