Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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