Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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