people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
