I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
