did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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