Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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