Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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