Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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