.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
