Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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