He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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