How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
