I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
