You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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