big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
