Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
