got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize