Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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