Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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