Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize