Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
