Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
