you're like a bully in the Christmas story
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
