I want to stick my p in your. b.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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