Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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