"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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