It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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