At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
