His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
