what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
