I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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