Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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