doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
