Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
