Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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