The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?