And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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