it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.