there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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