Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
