we have officially lost it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
