"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
