You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
