Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
