we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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