Plan B is the new Plan A
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
