Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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