I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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