New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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