My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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