if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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