just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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