My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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