If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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